Knock knock. Who's there? It's me. Oh, come on in. Thanks.

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What did the doctor say to the minority, parapalegic after he barely escaped a fire alive? You just got burned!!

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Q: What did little Jimmy get his grandfather for Christmas? A: Nothing his grandfather died on Thanksgiving

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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knock knock who's there? doorbell repairman

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how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 16 if the ice cream melts

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

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A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

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A guy walks into a bar. I didn't see anything else.

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Q: what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill? A: mudslide

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How do you make a mess? Microwave a baby.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Im a Jew, Fart yourself.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. It was a footless chicken.

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so a boy walks into a bar he was underage and escorted out.

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Why did the puppy get shot? It lived in Detroit.

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Why did the gay man not walk straight? Because I took a jack hammer to his foot

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what happened to the kid who opened the goldfish? he got eaten by a cixelsyd dinosaur

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That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you think it octopus.

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How do you judge a black person? By the content of their character.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

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Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

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What do you do i a stranger offers you candy? Make sure its not stale then jump in his van.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? Jews are people

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Yo Mama is so stupid, she believes in God. While her faith has absolutely nothing to do with her intelligence and in 2014 only the most bigoted and stupid people would demean people based on their religion,she does have an IQ of 65 and is therefore believed to be mentally inadequate. It's really quite sad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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