Q: What's Funnier than a baby spinning around a pole at 300 MPH? A: Stopping it with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down

Donald Trump

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between a stepfather and a turkey? A stepfather is a man who married a woman who has already had a family with another man but the man does not mind because he has fallen deeply in love with her and wants to spend the rest of his life with the woman. A turkey is completely different in many respects.

thumb_up thumb_down

So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

thumb_up thumb_down

a sabertooth walks into a club. the caveman set his trap perfectly.

thumb_up thumb_down

A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the portuguese fisherman take out a $20,000 loan with a reknown loan shark at exorbitant interest rates? He needed to buy a kidney on the black market for his drug addicted daughter who had also destroyed his credit score meaning he coudln't get a loan from the usual credit facilities such as banks and credit unions.

thumb_up thumb_down

A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the mentally retarded kid get in his iq test drewl

thumb_up thumb_down

Robin, get in the car, please.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the man burying his child? because in france, fishing is only allowed 3 times a day

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats worse than biting an apple with a worm in it? Getting stabed until you died and being fed to your own children....... twice

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, wanna f***.

thumb_up thumb_down

ure mama's so fat

thumb_up thumb_down

I'm HIV positive.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than getting arrested? getting arrested on your birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

thumb_up thumb_down

Did you know that all of the seasons are named after coils of metal? Except Winter... And Autum... And Summer...

thumb_up thumb_down

A fat African a rich mexican and a gay guy jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? The gay guy because fat Africans and rich Mexicans don't exist

thumb_up thumb_down

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the little girl buy for her cat? A box to bury him in.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did John look at when Meghan Fox took off her shirt? her undershirt

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops