Roses are blue Violets are red I got this backwards Carpets are nice

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So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

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the NAACP

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

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How does a Chinese person wear a contact lens? On a 45 degree angle

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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yo mama is so fat that when she stepped on the scale she exclaimed "wow, i'm overweight" she then proceeded to eat a cupcake to mask her pain.

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the economy.

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What do you call a cat with no ears? Anything you fucking well like. Cats can't understand speech.

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Guy 1: Why did Captain Hook die? Guy 2: Because he wiped his anus with a hook? Guy 1: No, because everyone dies.

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Bariande: I have a belly button Kraken: haha who doesnt? MissAwkward: i dont Barinade: neither do i. haha this happened on tiny chat.

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How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on one barstool? It's quite difficult, it would be easier to just get 3 more barstools.

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Dr. I need a new butt, mine has a crack in it.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a pedophile.

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How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

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What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

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how do you get a black guy out of a tree? fried chicken.

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What did hitler give his granddaughter? A gas bill.

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Q. Where do all funny jokes come from? A. The people who made them up

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How do you get a bird off the roof you throw an ax at it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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