Q: What do you get when you cross a cactus and a platypus? A: I was wondering the same thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you get a jewish girls number check her wrist

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why didn't Marlin monroe ( http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marilyn_Monroe ) use the iphone app guitar hero because she died before the iphone was invented !

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's worse than finding a holocaust in your apple? A worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I once walked into my grandmas house to find her laying face down on the ground. It turns out that everyone was planking but grandma wasn't breathing...

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why is Satan evil? Because he makes people eat apples.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Yo mama's so fat because her BMI is considered obese on the scale.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q why did the girl scream A she got hit with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A car with four Mexicans drives off of a cliff. What's the bad news? They were my friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Your mom came to my house last night. We played chess.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the schoolgirl say to some of the people of Anti-Joke.com? You're sick. Stop talking about the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's worse than being shot? Being shot twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Okay, you seem sincere enough, thing is that I trust you, but your buddies, if you can vouch for them, then I at least know that you are putting your stepmother in danger if you decide to cover for your friends, besides you being such an emotional crybaby kinda gets me into trusting you again.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did one banana say to the other banana? Answer: It didnt say anything because bananas are inanimate objects, so it isn't humanly possible for a banana to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Nothing is as strong as love, Except a nuclear warhead that can destroy entire cities! :P thoko like :D ~~k0mradey``

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A: Knock Knock (waits for an answer) oh there's no one in.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops