What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Are you mentally handicapped? Bananas are fruit.

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How do you make an electrician cry? Kill his family.

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Did you hear about the Mexican boy scout that helped that old lady cross the border.

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a washing machine at him.

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? Because Suzie was a cucumber.

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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knoc knock! who's there? poo on! poo on who? you!

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Whats the difference between anti-jokes and regular jokes? A Fridge full of dead babies being thrown at a black man with no arms or legs swinging from a tree.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Easter? A: Diabetes

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If a tree falls on a woman, and no one is around to hear it, what is a tree doing in the kitchen?

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Hey I'm a poet and I didn't even realize that I was a poet

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken so he could fry it.

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Three guys walk into a bar. They each have a few drinks. Then all three leave responsibly in a taxi.

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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what do you call a man with no arms no legs cancer and down syndrome? you call him stephen because his name is stephen

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What's the Green Lantern's favorite holiday? Hannukah

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i am iron man running over fat kids in my van

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pull my finger (farts)

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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