What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

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I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a car

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Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

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A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

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Why did the monkey ride a bike? Because he was taken from his natural environment, abused for years and forced to ride a bike.

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A boy asked his dad Why are Chinese eyes like that. His dad replied there concentrating that's why there so smart The boy went up to a student in his class and said look I'm like you The teacher asked who told him that he said his dad The dad was called up by the school when the teacher told him what his son did he went GOOZILLA His wife asked him what he was up to and he said farting on her face when she was a sleep 3 days later he found out his wife was cheating on him he knocked on the door only to realize he was on drugs and that he never had a family.

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Dani Barton is not that! She is a great girl with a strong heart and feelings. The statement below is a joke, hence why it was published on AntiJokes. This is NOT a joke however.

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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Yo mama so fat - - That your dad left her, and it's tearing your family apart

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Person #1: Hello captain obvious. Person #2: Hello.

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A:Knock knock B:Who´s there? A:Beat B:Beat who? A:Beat your ass if you don´t open that door!!

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A man walks into a bar, and is brutally slaughtered by eight drunk customers.

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Why was the black guy being talked to by several policemen? Because he was advertising a new renting deal on an apartment downtown and the two policemen were openly gay and have a right to live together.

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Dimes are silver Pennies are brass Why does your face look like an a**

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What did Bambi say to her mother when her mother was killed? Nothing. Bambi's a deer. Duh.

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How do you make a 4 year old cry? You tell him all his family died in a horrible plane crash.

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Q: what do you call a camel with a garbage bag on its head? A: A ziploc baggie

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How did the rabbi die? It didnt it lived through the shooting

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What happens when there is a jew next to you and you are standing on a train track? A train hits you both and you both die.

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What's funnier than 100 dead babies? Everything.

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An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

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Why did the stoner cross the road? He didn't. He was stoned

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Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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