What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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- I got kicked out of the library today. - why? - because I put the women's rights book in the fiction section

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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what word starts with 'p' and ends in 'orn'? popcorn you sickos

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What do Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson have in common? The same first name.

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G

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven has an extra penis

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You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

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Snapple Fact #1 -slaves made life easier

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Why was the family sad? Their house burnt down.

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Knock knock Whos there? Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior jesus christ?

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

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Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

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Why did the the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't be late for his annual check up at the clinic across the street.

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An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

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Yo mama is so old, that it's becoming apparent that she is most likely developing severe senial dementia

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John went to the shop to purchase a can of coca cola. He left the shop with a can of coca cola.

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What is a mean thing to say to Stephen Hawking? Please take a seat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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