You always hear of the 9/11 stories where people who work in the World Trade Centers were late that day or home sick or whatever. My mom also worked there. It was a normal morning, got up to make us breakfast, got us to school on time, the whole bit. After having to do all that stuff, she actually got to work on time, and she died in the attack.

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Simon says.. Nothing because he's deaf.

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are you from hawaii? because your the only ten I see

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Why did Jonny commit suicide? Airplanes dont have feet.

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where do you find a dog with no legs? Korea. It's customary for the guests to get the drumsticks.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Bend Over.

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What do family members and a loaf of bread have in common? If you smash them with a hammer they die.

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What do you get when you cross a rock and a paper bag? A rock inside of a paper bag.

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Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

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What smells like smoke, sounds like a pig, and looks like a horse? My mom's boyfriend

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Why do beavers have flat tails? They don't know but their relatives certainly get upset

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sometimes i put my hands on the floor tuck my head into my cheat and lean forward... because thats how i roll

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When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

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Knock Knock Whose there? The pizza you ordered That's weird, the Pizza I ordered shouldn't be able to talk

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Q: Why Marc can't run? A: Marc is a leaf.

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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Roses are red Violets are? blue Lets eat poo I know you want to

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Why was the little boy inside the house instead of playing with his friends outside? His dad just died from cancer.

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What's long, hard, and has come in it? A long, hardcovered book.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pig? One makes bacon when smoked.

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Man 1:Doctor Doctor, I've got 59 seconds to live! Man 2: This is a chemist

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A guy asks, "Why was my mom in your bed?" The other guy replies, "Because your mom has a mental disease which inhibits her ability to process thought."

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How many people like gang rape? 9 out of 10

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A man named Hank, from Idaho takes a trip to Michigan. When he arrives, he rents a house and starts a meth lab. Hank is spending 7 years in jail. Hank was charged with stealing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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