Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate you so suck on poo.

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there was a turkey sandwhich..... a ham sandwhich.... and a bologna sandwhich..... they had a short conversation before they were eatin by a fat kid

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Why did the 18 year old girl take her clothes off? To take a shower

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Why did the black man get a zero on his SAT? He was up so late helping orphans with disabilities that he fell asleep during the test.

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Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

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WTF? If you look at life from the right, you might just see whats left, and just then I looked down at the midget as he said "Yo whats up?" I told him, hey do you like left? He said! DAAAAAMN RIIIIIGHT! I spent a while just standing there wondering what the hell was happening into my life, it was so right it was left and wrong... NeroMetal (No fucking idea what Neronism is, I just play streetfighter V and type books that confuse people)

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How can you tell if your blind date is going to be good looking? Go on the date and see if they're good looking.

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Wait a moment, I will see what I can do.

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How do you stop a man from jumping off a building? Push him off a building.

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Why did the little girl walk into the wall? Because she was blind.

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michaelangelo.

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Why can't penguins fly? Because their wings are adapted to swim and not to fly

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why didn't the boy get his soda Because the cashier shot him

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Romney: I think you would raise our debt and make more Americans jobless. Obama: It's just cuz I'm black!

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

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You just sunk my battleship! 5,000 people just perished at the bottom the ocean in a war for pointless political reasons.

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what is the difference of a bag of dead babies and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

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A guy walks into a Bar ........ OUCH

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What did the Asian dad say to his son when he got an A- in math? Good job son.

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Why did the little boy stop looking for his ball? Because he found it.

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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What do you call a mexican working at Taco Bell? An intelligent young man who recently graduated from high school, but due to his family's lack of money, he cannot pay for college, which is one of the reason's why he is working. He also needs money becuase he has a child on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection while having intoxicated relations with his girlfriend. I wish him the best of luck!

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What did the dinosaur say to the human? For one, dinosaur's don't talk. And two, humans were not roaming the Earth during this time.

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What did the first ant say to the second ant? Nothing. Ants are incapable of communicating via speech.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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