A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Japan is Weird We aren’t saying Japanese people are weird but it’s a fact that the strangest pictures floating around the internet are from Japan.

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There are two muffins in a oven, the first muffin is chocolate chip and the second muffin is blueberry.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face" To which the horse replies by trampling him to death for making rude remarks about his face.

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Henry's mom packed Henry sweaters And lots of things besides sweaters Henry went to war He saw lots of gore Logically, he wouldn't need a sweater because he had to wear his uniform during the battle. Did i mention that Henry likes chocolate?

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a human being and one is an inanimate object that people enjoy sitting on.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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Why was the baker rich? Because he had a lot of money

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What happens if you Put a Mental Patient in a cage He goes crazy, Develops schizophrenia and Eventually dies of Many Incurable Diseases

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Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

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What did the man say when he was stabbed on the street? Nothing, because he died.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face"? The horse does not respond, because it is a horse and lacks any cognitive ability to speak or understand English. Instead, it becomes confused by its surroundings, takes a dump on the floor, and gallops out of the bar knocking a few tables over in the process.

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id give my right arm to be ambidextrous

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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What did the rock say to the tree. It didn't say anything, rocks don't talk.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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A man looks in his toilet and gazes in fear of the fact that there is blood on his bowel movement. He has colitis

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What's worse than a paper-cut? Two paper-cuts. What's worse than two paper-cuts? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three paper-cuts.

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If my balls were on your chin, where would my dick be?

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Q: What do you call an exact duplicate of Homer Simpson who's been enhanced with numerous special powers and a strength-boosting inducer among other beneficial additions? A: A mobidly overweigth individual who hasn't realized what the phrase, "Go on a diet", even denotes/implies.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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An asian man walks into a taxi. The driver asked which chinese or electronic store woupd u like to go to?

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What was the little boys least favorite part of Christmas? Getting raped by his uncle.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you", the grasshopper replies, "you have a drink named Bob"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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