Incidentally,on the subject of friends, when do you actually classify someone as a friend? Is it: When you have been to each others' house; When you have had an intelligent conversation more than once; When you have stayed for dinner; Or perhaps simply when each has decided that the other is worth the air that they breathe? [L]

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'll choke you with a hose

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Why did the friendly not play outside? Because they were dead. Just like your dreams.

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Why was the man "hanging around"? He committed suicide.

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What do Ethiopians do on Fridays? Starve.

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

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Wanna hear a hot headed retard? call and listen carefully 6196342668

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How do you make a baby cry? You kill its mother.

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how does an Arab scare someone He does a countdown

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The last joke I tried to submit used "trolololol" as the enter code thing and I spelled it without the extra "lol" The lolz have got me again *this time it asked me for "basket case"

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What do you call a mexican man with a rubber toe? Ruberto.

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Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

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why did the supermodel have sex with the janitor? she loved him. and he was brad pitt.

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What's worse than swing a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

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How did the man lose his arm? beacuse of the five year old with a knife obsesion standing right beind you at this minute...

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Why didn't Joe catch the baseball? He got shot by a local gang.

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Person 1: Happy Halloween! Person 2: Hey, I'm Jewish

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your mom is so fat that when she walks in America with a yellow coat as they get a taxi

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Why can't you teach drivers ed and sex ed at the same time in Iraq? The camel would get tired.

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Two guys walk into a bar, have a good time, and exit the bar, relatively sober. They are driven home by a friend who agreed to be the designated drive for safety purposes and enjoy the rest of the evening with their wives, to whom they are happily married. Then the joke ends abruptly.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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What is the difference between an empty bucket and a bucket of water? The Water.

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Why didn't the woman make sandwiches? She was making baguettes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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