Why did the the dog not eat its food? Because the night before the dog had gotten serious disease and lost appetite

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Why was Billy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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Why did the man paint his dog blue? He has some strange mental condition and is incapable of controlling his own actions.

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A shark walks into a bar. The bartender asks someone to call animal control to remove the nearly-dead sea creature from his bar.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

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John: hey wats up? Bob: gas prices!

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A paper cut is a tree's last revenge.

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i have to tell you a knock knock joke. but you have have to start it..

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How many shots do you have to take to start feeling light-headed? Ask JFK.

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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Q : How many babies do you need to paint a wall A : It depends on how hard you throw

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Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A Stick!

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What's blue and smells like red paint? That blue guy from Megamind.

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Ask me if I'm a tree I don't need to, because I know you're not a tree

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Why did the fish cross the road? Because the chicken was carrying an aquarium.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He cannot read the drink menu.

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Why couldn't Sarah see through her telescope? She was blind

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Q: How much old could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Wood A:10.6 cubic metes

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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Where is one place everyone eventually goes to rest? A cemetery.

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Scientific fact: If you took all the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

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whats a diffrence between a bench and a black person the bench is a thing a black person is a human being

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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