An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Why did the fungus leave the party? Truffle.

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What do you get for the man that has everything already? Another one.

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So what have you overcome? I mean I know alot about you, but little about your personal deeper self, with that said, you telling me you are some kind of X-men when it comes to genetics?

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him to leave.

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- Knock, knock - Who's there? - Police - I'm not home!

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Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

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How many women does it take to changed a light bulb? 12. 11 to form a committee and 1 to make her boyfriend do it.

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

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How do you confuse a chicken? Paint yourself black and throw seeds at it.

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Why did the black man get sent to prison? He had committed many crimes and was finally caught by the police.

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I'm typing this one handed... ... Because I'm an amputee.

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How do you find your way out of the impossible maze? You don't.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he was late for a meeting

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What sucks more than being married? Being shot in both kneecaps

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What did the Dildo say to the banana? Nothing, unless you're high on acid.

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why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

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what do you call 100 muslims on a plane? Passengers

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Why did the man ask his wife to make him a sandwich? He lost both of his arms in the war.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He lost his punch line. -by Ross

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Roses are red Violets are blue Chrome won't stop crashing randomly F*ck Chrome

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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