Roses are blue Violets are red I got this backwards Carpets are nice

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Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

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What happened when Mark's hair died? He got depressed that he was growing old and the signs of it were showing.

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what do women and men have in common? nothing, women are inferior

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Is your refrigerator running? I heard there was a power outage in your area.

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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whaT DID HEVEN SAY TO THE FRIDGE hAVE YOU GOT A COLD

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What looks like half an Apple? The other half.

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What did the black man see when he looked in the mirror? His reflection.

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Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

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What is funnier than 24? If you think numbers are funny then you could have a mental illness and that isn't quite funny.

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roses are red violets are blue tulips are white daisies are yellow

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Roses are red. Violets are beer. Kay eckelkamp is in charge here.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't so much cross the road as he did go down the road, to the supermarket, where he was sold to a family of 5, and taken down yet another road to the family's house, where they enjoyed a nice family dinner.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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why did Sarah fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? not sarah

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Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? A: A bus stop

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what is worse - this joke or the last one? what is worse still - sex what is worster - nothing that's not a real word what is wurst? a type of sausage

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How do you kill off a zombie apocalypse? Laser vision

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What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

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My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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What's long and sexy? The Eiffel Tower

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Why Did Suzie fall of the swing? She has Polio and will die the Next Day

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops