A wild Snorlax appeared crushing several members of the community

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A bear walks into a bar, and says "I'd like a gin... and tonic." The bartender says "AAAAHHH! A BEAR!!!" and calls animal control. Later after the beast has been tranquilized and carted away, he rationalizes having heard the bear speak as trauma-induced hallucination.

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Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Enough.

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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What do you call a dog? A cat. What do you call a cat? A banana.

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What's the same between grapes and squirrels? They're both purple, except for the squirrel.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why don't men have menstruation? -Because it sucks

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What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.... I hate your guts.

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Women's Rights

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Why couldnt the old man ski? There was no snow.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? Nope! I'm a person! - SMC Digital

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Why was the man struck by lightning? Josh Mathai was there.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at checkers? Cause he's dead.

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why did the irishman leave the bar he had to go to his sons birthday party

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There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange ya glad i didn't say banana

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two tomatoes are running and one stops to tie its shoe and the other says "Catch up!" This begins to put the first tomato on the spot and he runs after the second tomato without finishing his shoe and he trips falls and dies of severe brain damage

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A blonde rubs a lamp hoping to find a genie that will grant her 3 wishes. It didn't happen.

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Deja moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops