What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Being sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

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An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

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Why did the young Mexican apply for a job at McDonalds? The economy is down and his family could use the extra money.

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Once upon time the government was corrupt Jk, it always has been

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Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your physician, you're going to die.

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"If life was fair, I would have a girlfriend" - William Deane

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a father listens to his son while he was on the computer. he heard "BABBY BABBY OHHHHH" and busted in He was releaved to find him masterbating to porn because he thought it was Justin Beiber

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Two penguins in a bath tub, one says "Pass me the soap" and the other one says "What do you think I am, a radio!"

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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what did the man with Alzheimer's say to his son? who are you!?

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A black man walks into a bar and he orders a margarita. The bartender says that the margaritas are exceptionally delicious in this bar. He was right.

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Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

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Why a frog can fly? It has magic. Why a snake can fly? It ate the magic frog. Why a eagle can fly? It has wings.

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Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

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penis

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What did the Muslim receive for Christmas? Nothing. Muslims don't celebrate Christmas.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by your great grandma

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How do you teach another person's son to ride a bike? You don't. Let his real parents teach him to ride a bike.

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What smells like smoke, sounds like a pig, and looks like a horse? My mom's boyfriend

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How do you find out the population of Mexico? The census.

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What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Women.

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops