Knock knock Who's there? Derek the crazy man in the village and I have come to shoot you.

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A young penguin walks into a bar with tears streaming down his face. "Whats wrong with you?" asks the barman. "I've lost my Dad", says the Penguin. The barman asks, "What's he look like?"

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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Why did the police officer pull over a black guy? He was going over the appropriate speed limit for that area.

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why did miles cross the road? Because hes gay

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i bought a knock-knock joke book, and was unamused.

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There was an Englishman a Welshman and a Scotsman, all of whom were nationals of the United Kingdom.

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Why did the two blonds go to the bar together? Because they were carpooling to save money and help save the earths ozone layer that seals in all of our oxygen. They were also meeting some friends.

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Yo mums so fat she went on a diet.

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whats worse than failing your maths test?

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What's purple and glows? An electric grape

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Why is nate asian? no one knows neither of his parents appear to be of asian desent

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So there was a guy in the middle of the street, how did he survive? ...He doesnt because he gets hit by a car becuase hes in the middle of the street...

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Where will you be in twenty years? Celebrating the twentieth anniversary of reading this question... unless you're older than 60, which by modern life expectancy, you'd be dead.

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Evidently, in order to get any person of an object (most notably a swing) you must hit them with some form of large and/or sharp object.

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot. WOW your racist!

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Why can't Ray Charles see? Because he's dead.

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Me: Knock Knock Mom: Who's there? Me: Jason Mom: Jason who Jason: HOW COULD YOU FORGET ME I CAN'T BELRIVE YOUR ALZHEIMER'S HAS GOTTEN THAT BAD! WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME BWAAA! *Jason sadly died short after from a bus hitting him*

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Alex watched his grandfather tear up as he told him the terrors of the Holocaust. Apparently killing Jews is hard on people.

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How did the black guy survive from drowning? Years of Swimming lessons at his local YMCA

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Q: Why were minorities denied access to the bathroom? A: It was for employees only.

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Why did the guy get glasses? So he could get his dick into the vagina.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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joke under this line wins _________________________

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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