What did the customer say to the waitier? "I think I'll have the special."

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Why was the math text book so worried....… Because he had to many problems

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Sprechen zie deutsche? nein!

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What is x + 12 That is impossible because you can't add letters

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you were so loud you woke helen keller up!!!!!!!

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What do you call an Arab guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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How do you make an idiot in suspense?

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what is brown and wet? Muddy water

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How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

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I also wanted to write a joke but I forgot it so here I am. Minecraft rocks and everyone who says otherwise is a noob

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Yo mama's so fat she needed a toilet that had a bigger seat (just like me)

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

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What do you get when two chickens cross a road? -Salmonella stricken hobos

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There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"

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Knock knock? Whose There? Not Suzie, She can't knock

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A Fat person walks out of mcDonalds

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Two Pigs are in a bath. One pig says to the other "pass me the soap", to which the other pig replies "Do I look like a typewriter?"

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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What do you call a police officer who kills a black person? Innocent

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your mom gave me head.....phones

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A seal walks into a club. The man proceeds to skin it and sell the fur for profit.

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his whole family died in a plane crash.

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What would Muhammed do?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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