A Horse walks into a bar. So the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The Horse replies "My jockey raped me".

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the Long face" The horse then storms out of the bar, wondering why every bartender must ask him that.

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Why did the catholic priest go to jail He was a paedophile

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a nice man.

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I went to a magic show and the magician asked for my watch... He took the watch and then produced a doughnut... Guess what was in the doughnut? JAM!

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the second cat. Why did the fourth cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the fifth cat fall out of the tree? It needed to get down, but couldn't find any other way down. After he fell, he was minorly hurt and ate some cat food.

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Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

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Whats the best way to take down a skycraper? -Crash a plane into it-

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Weird, orange is my favorite color.

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A Pole walks into a Pole. They chatted for a while, talking about the good old times they had had together in Poland. They soon finished their conversations, and went seperate ways.

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Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

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What is the most dangerous gull in the world? A gull with a machine gun!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

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A man walks into a bar. Inside he finds Hitler, his wife, and an angry badger. They are pleased to see him and they all relate to each other through their shared love of bocce ball.

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Question 1 - What is 1 + 1 = Hospital

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Your mama is so fat... she really should go on a diet.

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A blond walks into a bar. She orders a drink.

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What do blondes do when they hurt themselves ? They say "Ow", just like anyone else.

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FUTURE-CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Why did the little girl cry A rabi slapped her and stole her ice cream

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Knock, knock Who's there? You're adopted...

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Why is ur cousin gay? because ya dad

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what is white and red all over? a ginger

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops