how many milkshakes does it take to bring all the boys to the yard?

Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

Q.what happens if a fat man see's a black man? A. the fat man eats the black man thinking that he was chocolate

What happens if you an 3ft size olive, a glob of red paint and rainbow colored glue on a table and rub your arm in it? You get olive, red paint and glue on your arm.

Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Actually it's my cookie jar, and my cookies. I stole nothing.

How can you tell if a duck is quaking? Hear it

What did the mexican say when two houses fell on him? Nothing. He was dead.

How did the blonde die? She got swallowed whole by a 1,000-foot scorpion.

Whats funny about a fat person dying? He died while eating friend chicken

I have alzheimers and one day me and my nephew were............................

Micheal jackson had half a pie, Fred had the other half of the pie, They both shared a pie.

Q: A squirrel a chipmunk and a spider monkey are fighting over these nuts. Who gets them? A: Your Mom ;p

- Wanna see a magic trick? - Sure - Too bad. I don't know any.

What did the furry tweet when he went to a furry convention? A: I'm at a furry convention

- Why an Asian crossed the road? - Because he wanted to.

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Why was the boy sad he ate a loaf of bread? Because ducks ate him alive after that.

Hey I just met you and this is crazy but here's my chew toy throw it maybe!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the tiger.

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

Chuck Norris was the leading role in the television show Walker, Texas Ranger.

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are red I'm colorblind

What's worse than a trash can of dead babies? The one at the bottom that has to eat it's way out.

what is yellow with red all over tweety in a blender

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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