Do Your Homework: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Get An Award At School: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Figure How To Adjust The Zoom On Your Computer: Mum & Dad - WOW HOW DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH, YOU'RE SO CLEVER, WHO TAUGHT YOU THIS?! Typical ...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

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whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion getting raped by 2 giant scorpions

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

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I shot a bitch.

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So a guy with a machine gun walks into a bank, makes a deposite and leaves.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Tim. Tim who? Tim Smith.

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why was justin sad? his family was murdered

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken.

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My period is red, Your sauce is white, now pull down your pants and let me do my workout.

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Scientists have discovered that the state of your hunger can affect what you say. For example, whether you choose to say ‘I’m hungry,’ or, ‘I’m not hungry,’ is based upon how hungry you are.

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roses are red violets are blue i have five fingers the middle ones for you

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Your momma's so fat: She feels uncomfortable in public due to current trends in ideal body shape and aesthetics of beauty.

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Why don't people say YOLO anymore? They all died in car crashes while texting and driving.

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What do you call 25 college teens at a party? A good time.

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Why do black people play basketball? Because they can join their friends in playing an extremely fun and calorie-burning sport.

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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why do gingers have no friends? They are non sentient stems that are simply not capable of interacting with intellectual humans

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

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How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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