How do you make a lumberjack cry? By murdering his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

thumb_up thumb_down +26

yo mama is so ugly she walked by a mirror and looked at her reflection cuz thats what mirrors do

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you do if you work in subway? we make the subs put meat on it then put salad on then cut it then wrap it other duites involved but cba to exsplain

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: What do you get if you combine a melody, instrumentation, rhythm, and vocals? A: Um, music, you idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

roses are red violets are blue i have aids and so do you happy valentines day!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Your mum's so fat that she's incredibly lucky she has a loving and supportive husband who values her personality over her appearance.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did Dean Jones talk to his car? Because it was Herbie the love bug , a car possessed by a demon that had voice recognition capabilities and thus could understand him

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a gay mexican on welfare? poor

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Double-whammy

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What happens when you cross a Mexican and a Chinese man? A multiracial man.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

thumb_up thumb_down +26

knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is life? It is a sexually transmitted disease which always ends in death. There is currently no known cure.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock Knock ... Knock Knock The man proceeds to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats worse than getting a paper-cut? Getting shot. In the head. Three times.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops