A man walks into a bar, sits down and talks to the woman sitting next to him. The woman took out a cigarette, and offered one to the man. The man said yes, even though he never smoked before, because he was trying to get with the woman. They smoked a few more before the woman left, and the man left shortly after. The man became a chain smoker and died 1 year later from lung cancer caused by smoking multiple packs a day.

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Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

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Why did the police officer decide to eat a donut? Because he was slightly hungry, but a meal seemed too much for him.

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Caramel Boing.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

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Wenn Sie dies zu übersetzen, dann ist dein ein Esel

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A Muslim and 2 French people walked into a bar They start to have a nice conversation about Charlie Hebdo

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why was allison crying? because her mom's dead.

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What is long hard and woody? A tree.

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how do you make a little boy cry? Kill his parents in front of him .

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what's worse than failing a test? having your house burnt down

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How do you piss off a jew slash his tires

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A tiger walks into bar. He orders a drink and leaves. The tiger's name was Tony the tiger," It was just a man wearing a costume for the cereal company.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I felt like kicking something.

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What is black and blue, with nothing to do? The prostitute in my basement.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in an apple? having a worm sized penis.

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17.

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poo

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What's the difference between 2 pieces of meat? Nothing

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An African-American is like a hammer. It can't be trusted in the hands of women.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

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where did little suzie go during 9/11 EVERYWHERE...

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Hai Patrick Hai Patrick

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A seal walks into a club.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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