Your mum is so fat that she finds trouble fitting through thinner doorways

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Why didn't the cat have any legs? Because it was a snake

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What do I have in common with your mum? We're in the same bed right now.

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Why doesn't your dad want to have sex with your mom? Because my penis is already in her vagina, thus your dad's inability to place his penis in her vagina.

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penis

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Your momma's so fat that she went on a diet.

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Your mom is so fat that she has to wear larger clothes than the average person.

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What happened when the engineering student studied for a physics final? They failed.

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What did the bird say to the fence? Chirp.

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-Knock-knock. -Who's there? -Interrupting Doctor. -Interrup.. -You have cancer.

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jack and jill went up a hill so jack could lick jills candy but jack got a shock and a mouth full of C O C K cause jill's real name was randy... ... and joe diragi liked it

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How do rocket scientists exchange greetings? They say "hi"

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Q. What happened to the women who cut her finger? A. she got staff infection and died.

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What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

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Why was the girl sad? Because borat came had DA SEXI TIME with yo mother in law:)

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What did the young Muslim man have attached to him? A book-bag, it was is his first week college and he eager for an education.

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Why did the chicken have a sore neck? Because the farmer cut the chicken's head off, and the body ran around for three minutes until it finally bled to death.

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why cant dinosaurs talk? because they're all dead.

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What did the priest tell his son? Nothing, priests can't have children.

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A man walks into a bar. Because he's had a rough day, he asks the barender for a drink. Then another... Then another... (continued) The man walks out of the bar and goes to his car. He starts to drive back to his house. He wobbly makes turns and closes his eyes every 5 seconds or so. He also talks to his boss on his phone for the majority of the ride. Surprisingly enough, he makes it home safely and doesn't harm anyone else despite the large amount he had to drink. He stumbles into his apartment and goes up to his room. He slumps down onto his bed on his back very heavily, causing the room to shake a bit. He opens his eyes, only to find his glass shandelier falling from directly above his face. His body was found by his girlfriend the next morning. I guess there's no real moral to the story then... Maybe it's: You can drink and drive, but don't put a shandelier directly above your bed... I guess? Wow. What are the odds?

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I've never seen your mother, so I won't make any vile suggestions concerning her weight.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPFTeHEsAS4 You will not be disappointed.

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Where would you be unlikely to find a polar bear? In a courtroom.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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