How many pairs of jordans does your dad have? None, he lost both his legs in vietnam.

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A man was feeling sick and decided to go and see a doctor. He saw the doctor and then went home. He wasn't feeling any better so he decided to get checked-out by the doctor.

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A wife says to her husband "Everybody's coming over tonight, I want you to dress nice." *logically this cannot happen because there is no way that this couples residence can fit all 6 or so billion people in the world, nor would they want to.

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Women's rights

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

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What do two Jews have in common? They both practice the same religion.

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How many stripes are there on a policeman's socks? None, policemen must wear regulation plain black socks.

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What do you get when Justin Bieber mates with a beaver? Nothing, the species are too genetically different to produce offspring

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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I am tying up hostages. - Ethan R. 2015

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he'd would like to make a wager. The bartender replies, "no."

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Yo mamma is so fat, that she's going on a diet and is exercising regularly to lose wait.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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My therapist says that I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that!

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What do you call a remote that does not work? a remote that does not work.

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Q. What did the Muffins say to the man? A. Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects therefore unable to speak.

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Why was the man struck by lightning? Josh Mathai was there.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? It depends on their painting skills.

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What's red and a cow? Red cow

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What's brown and sticky??? A brown stick

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What's the difference between Rick Perry and a toaster? One is a republican presidential candidate, while the other is an electrical appliance.

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Connor is homo

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what is red white and blue? the french flag

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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