A girl walks into a supermarket. She picks up a banana, a can of soup, and a loaf of bread. She then walks up to the cash register to pay. The cashier looks at her and the items she has and says, "I can tell you're single." She smiles and responds, "How do you know that?" He says, "Because you're ugly."

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Lol, okay you have made Nero of the clan of the Moralians the mighty laugh and go aww... Seriously, first of all, WHAT THE FUCK IS NAUSEUS? Secondly, okay its Ridge Racer, close enough, aww, seriously that sounds like the cutest thing, I mean did you bleed? DID YOU HARM YOURSELF! DELIGHTFUL... Moral: Seriously though, seeing you tilt over while playing a racing game, kinda cute, just put a pillow there next time you know just saying, because I play videogames, I cant go sexytime for hours without pumping some ADRENALINE INTO MY MIGHTY ROD OF STONEFLESH!

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well thats a stupid question, just one.

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Its a sunny day. There's a tree and a bird. What did they say to each other? --------------------------------------------------- Nothing they can't talk.

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What happened after September 11, 2001? September 12, 2001

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What's worse; twelve babies in one trash can or one baby in twelve trash cans?

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roses are violets red is blue i like doughnuts doughnuts are good

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what did the 3 year old get for her birthday? nothing she died of terminal cancer at the age of 2

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Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely I should proably go to the hospital

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What's a ghost's favorite color? Usually whatever their favorite color was in life.

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How does a black woman know she is pregnant? When she pulls her tampon out the cotton is already picked.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because I took a swing at it with a golf club.

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Wife: "I suggest you check properly next time you lose your keys so that you find them quicker" Husband: "I suggest that next time I sit down and have a beer while I wait for Doc Martin and his time machine to give my keys back.

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Two cows were in a feild, one said "moo" and the other said "i was going to say that!"

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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How do you make a unicorn? Jab a stick through a pink horse and name it Liam

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roses are red violets are blue i bribed a hobo to eat my poopoo

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whats black dirty gross and sits on the porch all day? a trash bag

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks " What'll You Have" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck.

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting brutally raped in the anus by the Dark Lord Satan.

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What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer What did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that far

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Why did the boy die while brushing his teeth? The toothbrush wasn't water-proof.

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In Pokemon, why are bug types super effective against dark types? Because Ebola affected a lot in Africa.

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Why couldn't the pirate play poker? Poker is a tricky game - maybe he'd never been taught how to play.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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