Two fish we're in a tank.. Yup.

whats worse than the holocost, nothing

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was deaf and blind.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

What did the black basketball player say to the white basketball player when he lost? Good game.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests Testicals

What do you do when you find a blonde on her knees? Help her up, because obviously she has fallen.

Why couldn't the bartender sell alcoholic beverages? He got fired

Hi

What do you do if you see a cat crossing the street? Hit it of course!

What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red pain is spilled on it.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

What should you do if a stranger picks you up? Politely request that he put you down.

What do astronauts and Wayne Rooney have in common? I don't know. Ok.

A blind man walks into a bar----b wire

What happens when a women becomes pregnant? She gives birth to a child 9 months later.

What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

Whats the same about a Mole and an Eagle? They both live underground, I lied about the Eagle.

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

Knock knock. Who's there? Quetzalcoatl. Quetzalcoatl who? Quetzalcóatl, Mayan name Kukulcán, (from Nahuatl quetzalli, “tail feather of the quetzal bird [Pharomachrus mocinno],” and coatl, “snake”), the Feathered Serpent, one of the major deities of the ancient Mexican pantheon. Oh... hi.

Whats werst than taking candy from a baby. Throwing a baby off a cliff then eating the candy in fronts of its parents

If 6 is afraid of 7, what is 7 afraid of? ...Chuck Norris.

A blonde walked into a bank. She deposited her check, thanked the teller, and promptly left.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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