What is brown and lives in a toilet? A black homeless man

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Chuck Norris has a chin under his beard.

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What did one Platypus say to the other Platypus? Nothing, Platypuses can't talk. However, they are the only mammal to lay eggs.

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When life gives you lemons, you should be wondering how "life" managed to give you those lemons.

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What's that Lassie? Timmy fell in the well again? And you couldn't care less because the stupid kid never looks where he's going?

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why was the little girl crying? Because her family was dead

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Friends are a lot like trees. If you hit them multiple times with an axe, they will fall down.

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A man walked into a bar. It was closed, so I don't see how this was possible.

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Then help me understand Nero, people had the free and legal right to decide to be a part of our, or your society if you prefer, where has that option gone now? Where is the people that choose to believe in their own potential and in the one of their equals? Today we live in a society where its basically pop culture to dislike oneself, where it is considered narcissism to like oneself, and you know that we have both been affected, while those we considered allies before, have joined the same people that branded us evil.

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What did the doctor say to the pregnant mother? Your babies dead

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man in a gorilla suit with a banana.

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I rated up my joke then opened a new tab went to Anti-Jokes.com and rated it again. Problem antijokes?

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Um no horses are overrated.

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What's big, grey, and can't climb a tree? A car park.

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Roses are red violets are blue What the heck do flowers Have to do with You?

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What's the difference between a dead Blackman in the road and a dead dog in the road? There's skid marks in front of the dog.

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Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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Knock knock? Who's there? You have cancer.

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What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

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Why was the women not in the kitchen? She was dead

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Sometimes i like to paint myself red and then curl up into a ball and pretend i'm a tomato.

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Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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Why did Bob get off the swing? Because he was done.

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I have a friend named Jay . But for short , he likes to be called J .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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