Your momma is so ugly she gave freedy krooger nightmares!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do a woman and a puzzle have in common? Both couldn't vote before 1920... the puzzles still can't vote

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: If a hen-and-a-half can lay an egg-and-a-half in a day-and-a-half, how long would it take a peg-legged grasshopper to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle? A: He'd give up.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A gay man takes another gay man home after a wild night at the city's top club. They choose to be safe and not have gay sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

there was a Black and Mexican in a car who was driving? the cop

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What kind of coffee did they drink on the Titanic? They didn't. They all died.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

In mediavel times :A Jew rapes his mom.... He is promptly taken out of society and thrown into a lions den due to his act of imortality.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's worse than getting struck by lightning? Getting struck while your in your house!!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

1. Go to the WRITE YOUR OWN! section on this website. 2. Check the box on "I have read and agreed to the Terms of Service." 3. The Submit button should become available for clicking. 4. Now uncheck the box. 5. Thumbs up if the Submit button is still available. -BG_Shank_A

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I have a phone, Don't know where it's at, Forever Alone FAPFAPFAP

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

when push comes to shove, shove repeatedly explains to push that she needs to stop stealing his money and find a new place to live. Push then leaves, allowing shove to return back to his sofa and finish watching the basketball game.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is notified, and the duck is released into a nearby park.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock knock Who's there Evan Evan who Evans erectile area is largo with Sarah plains pudding

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Your mother is so ugly that nobody wants to date her because she is hideous.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a something with no limbs? a snake

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why do girls think they deserve the very best? Because if an ugly girl in twilight can find a hunky vampire and ripped werewolf why can't they. And let's not forget those crappy Disney princess movies.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

You know why no ones tried to kill Obama ? Picture him in an escalade!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What time is it when an elephant jumps over your fence? Actually, elephants don't jump.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Your momma's so not fat that when a school bus rolled by here house, she just sat there and turned on oprah.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what do u call a man being beaten in the street the cops

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops