one day a boy asked a Manican if it had a pulse it didn't

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Lad: Whats that smell Girl: Nothing Lad: That is right nothing now get into the kitchen!

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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How do you punish Helen Keller You don't, she's dead

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What did the straw say to the other straw? We are both straws just kidding they cant talk

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What's the worst part about being a black Jew? You have to sit at the back of the oven.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the dog cross the road? To eat the chicken. Why did the police officer cross the road? To tranquilize the dog and the chicken.

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Jesus: I will return. Hitler: Well I am back... Nazi as in Nazireth Bush: As I said I was elected by Gawd. Me: What? What about me? Seriously why did I put myself here? Id have three bullets with them in a room, and id still shoot you six times.

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Sam murray got home after school one day, he siad hello to his father and possibly played some Avatar on the D.S

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What do you call someone who puts one number on here as a joke? Someone with no life.

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Q: Why was the cook put in jail. A: He has killed 2 people and robbed several stores

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Nero, I mean it, I want you and your wife to have 15 million dollars, it wont buy you the happiness you seek, but it helps no?

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So a cat a dog are in a field.The dog then proceeds to eat the cat and take a nap

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What do you say to the child with bruises on his arms? Stop hitting yourself.

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Q:What has more brains than the baby you just shot? A:The wall behind it!!!

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What did the man do to the begging orphan on a cold Christmas morning? He kicked him.

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Why did the chicken kill himself To get to the other side.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

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What's brown and sticky? Anal

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What's faster a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk.

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Why did the little boy fall out the window? A child molester pushed him.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We are here to inform you that your daughter has died in a drunk driving accident.

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A frog goes to a lake. he meets a photographer , the frog ask him ( can you take a picture of me? he says: sure ...say cheese.... then the frog said :....yogurt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops