A man finds a magic lamp and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he will grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish for a duck". POOF! He got a duck. Then he says "I wish for a penguin". POOF! A penguin magically appears. He thought long and hard for his 3rd wish. Then he said "I wish I had a turtle" POOF! Suddenly out of nowhere the genie disappears. The man looked inside the magic lamp and saw a small turtle. The end.

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Q: How do you keep a carnival fish for more than a week? A: Place it in formaldehyde when you get home

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Your mom is so fat that she has type 2 diabetes.

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What did the buisness man say to the hobo? Nothing, he threw an apple at him and laughed!

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Sometimes Jamie wishes he could be a different person. He wishes he didnt have to eat dick everynight but it was all to late. He had to take it down the throat but he enjoyed the tickle it gave him

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whos the most unprodutive person ever not hitler her helped over populatin and got rid of the jew they multiply like jews anyways

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i threw my line in the toilet the fishing was pretty shity that day

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a murderer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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what did the boy say to his mum when he got home from school nothing he has no tongue

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Knock Knock Who's there? There's a peephole on your door why don't you go ahead and look

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Man: get back in the kitchen! Women: no Man: ok

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A mexican fast food worker accidentally drops a cheeseburger on the ground. Realizing the floor is most likely unsanitary, he throws it out and gets the customer a new one.

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What happens when three drunk men are driving 80 miles off of a cliff. They all die on impact from the great fall and their family's mourn over their deaths for years to come.

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knock knock *opens door* WE DON'T WANT ANY!

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What is worse than when the Titanic sunk? You Cannot say. You were on that ship.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist -Tag

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Why did the black kid pass the exam? Because he studied.

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit into a bathtub? A: Depends on the size of the tub and the size of the babies.

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What do you call Mary in a wheelchair ... virgin mobile

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So my wife was in the kitchen, and I asked her to make me a sandwich. She agreed. I then volunteered to make her one. Lesbian relationships are amazing.

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did you hear about the argument between jamie jacob and dylan? daniel killed them all

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binladin walks into the american seals

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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