Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

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Q: How do you know a chinese guy robbed your house? A: your homework is done, your computer is updated, and 2 hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway

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How many seeds does a watermelon have? None. It is seedless.

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Why did the man buy his wife expensive flowers? It was their anniversary and he is a faithful husband.

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What's the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck; the other regrets having you as a child.

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what do you call a cross between lasagna and a human. weird

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Why can't Helen Keller drive Umm, She's dead

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Q) What is the difference between an elephant and a toaster? A) Do you seriously not know the difference between an elephant... and a toaster?

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

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When Chuck Norris realized that there was a more superior being than himself. What did he say? Suck it Safka

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Why couldnt Jimmy ride a bike? refrigerator

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What do airplanes and trees not have in common?? Bananas

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Peer pressure.

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what did the man say to the other man? hey

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What's long and black? A 12 inch black dick.

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You know what they say... Once you go black you...have gone down the road of diversity and it's impossible to back track and return to ones previous misconceptions.

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Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

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why do women rip you off? Because they like money

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Dont be mean Dyslexics are teople poo

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What did the old man say after he fell down? nothing.

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What happened to thepeanut who went to NYC? He was assulted

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a dad farts in the woods nothing else happens

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Chuck Norris counted to infinity; by calculating the sum of a divergent series.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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