What did the Triceratops get for his birthday? Nothing. Dinosaurs are extinct.

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(Insert short question here) (Insert long semi-irrelevant answer here)

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What do you call a bloody Jewish guy nailed to a piece of wood. Jesus

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: That depends how hard you throw them... Q: Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees...

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To clowns walk into a bar. They don't notice each other because as soon as they walk to a 5-yard radius, the length that was said to be the range of a clowns eyesight (which was actually said by a controversial scientist, looked on as a madman; he created a whole clown-eyesight-range conspiracy), when a fire starts, creating a huge apocalyptic event. However, the two clowns go into the bar unphased. Both clowns then turn opposite directions. The clown on the right sits down with his drink and takes out his book about the Victorian Era. He constantly checks his watch. The clown on the left disapears into the croud, and steals french fries from table 36. After three hours, they both walk to the back of the bar, simultaneously tying their shoes not noticing their similarity in career choices. They both open a door marked PRIVATE (while tying their shoes). After sixteen days of exactly the same thing happening repeatedly... Both clowns see eachother on the way out of the bar. Little do the know that they are being watched by the scientist I mentioned earlier. Two Years Later Both clowns die instantly after being attacked by a giant war hammer-wielding octopus on the way home from the circus.

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Man walks into Malaysian Airlines "Hey, can I have the next flight to--" "This is our only policy! You pay the fare we pick the where."

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Q. Did you hear about the gay guy that's on the patch? A. yeah, that's a really big step, quitting smoking is tough

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What do you give hobos? Febreeze

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life is like a box of chocolates........no it's not

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What's worse than Twilight? New Moon. What's worse than New Moon? Eclipse. What's worse than Eclipse? Breaking Dawn. What's worse than Breaking Dawn? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Breaking Dawn Part 2.

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What could be happier than a fat guy eating 20 pies? The guy he bought it from!

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What do u call a bunch of black dudes burried from their necks down? Afro-turf

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Don't you hate it when someone starts a sentence and doesnt fi...

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A: Ask me if I am an Orange. B: "Are you an Orange?" A: No.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What did John look at when Meghan Fox took off her shirt? her undershirt

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Wanna hear a joke? Women Voteing. -Austin Conradt

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why aren't doughnuts square? because they are round

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Why didn't the man laugh at his son's joke? Because he was born without a mouth.

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What's worse then having your wife leaving you? Taking the kids with her.

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0 1 this is a sad sad world.

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Sit her in the corner and deprive her of things she likes to do.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops