Chocolate makes everything better, except obesity.

A plane crashes on the border of the U.S. and Canada, where were the deceased buried? It turns out that there were passengers of several different nationalities on board, all of which were buried in their respective homelands.

Father Murphy met Samuel Myer on the street. Sam it's been a month o' Sundays since I've seen you. You look propserous. How's the moile business? A snip better, Father, since we talked last. And thank you. For what, Sam? Well the last time we met you asked what I did with the foreskins. Well, here is the answer, my new business. What's this, a wallet. But so smooth, Sam. Yeah, Father, but when you rub it. Rub it, Sam? Yeah when you rub it it falls apart. And you have to buy a new one! Mazel Tov!

You know what they say about a man with big feet! They say it's indicative of the size of his penis, although there's no scientific evidence backing this up.

A Mormon walks out of a bicycle store.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? I shot him in the face.

why was the Jewish person accused of stealing money? because the police found his finger prints.

Why was the dog fallowing the fat guy. The fat guy said come.

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. And that's when I found out my Uncle Ted was a cross-dresser.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where did my tractor go.

what did the dog say to the muppet? WOOF

Roses are red Violets are blue I was diagnosed as criminally insane Wanna be my friend?

whats the difference between ebola and a can of dead babies? i have ebola. this isnt funny at all.

What is yellow, has wheels, and lays on it's back? A school bus after a traffic accident

I told my grandmother to act her age.... she then died

How many People does it take to change a lightbulb? One

whats worse than a friend asking you if their ugly, telling them to look in the mirror.

why was the jewish boy afraid of ovens? because he developed an irrational fear of kitchen appliances. he would later, as an adult seek counseling and overcome his fear.

laughter is the best medicine, unless you have cancer, then you will die.

where was Billy during the bomb? Every where

How did the two friends cross the busy road? They couldn't, because that would be considered jay-walking

Why did the man think he was hungry? Answer: Because his brain told that he needed to Eat or he was going to be really hungry. Made by eli

Twelve men walk into a bar, and get stuck in the door because it's far too small for all of them to walk through at the same time.

2 beavers enter a bar, destroy all the stool legs, and leave.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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