Why did the baby fall off the swing? It had no arms or legs. Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in the face.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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You are so ugly that when you were born the doctor didn't say anything to your mother because he has social manners.

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Why didn't the Mexican have a job? Because stereotypes made employers unjustly reluctant to hire a hard-working, competent man.

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A lysdexic man trys to rite a joek... the people who tried reading it got confused and offered help in rewriting it.

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What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

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What did the cat say to the bird? Nothing. It's a cat.

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Did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off, how is he? Well you see, the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off...He's dead. I..um..he's straight up dead. I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell ya.

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did you hear about the argument between jamie jacob and dylan? daniel killed them all

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Who enforces the law strongly and forces people to obey them? Terrorists that have seized control of a town.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one, you have no friends.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a penis and a knife choose which one goes in you.

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A sober Amy Winehouse

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Knock knock The boy doesn't answer because it's dangerous to open your door to strangers while home alone.

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What's better than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill/death ratio

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Why was 6 afraid of 12? Because 12 used to beat up 6 and now 6 has a restraining order against 12. 12 has to stay at least 5 numbers away from 6.

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What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

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What is the difference between a cow and a clam one is bivalve and one is a mammal

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I like playing in the balls. I like balls.

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A Matthew walks into a room. Everyone left. This is not a joke

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What happens when three drunk men are driving 80 miles off of a cliff. They all die on impact from the great fall and their family's mourn over their deaths for years to come.

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Dave: Knock, knock Steven: Come in.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

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Even though Jenny was retarded, her parents didn't love her any less than the family dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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