Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

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Tough crowd tonight...

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why did the boy eat his lunch money? it was his lunch!

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

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So, theoretically, if we controlled the media, what would be different then?

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Knock Knock Who's There Fat white lady with dreadlocks Fat white lady with dreadlocks who? want to buy some girls scout cookies?

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Have you seen Helen Keller's house? Well, It's an old style ranch home in a respectable neighborhood.

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How did the marines cross the minefield safely at night? Under a full moon

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What do call a someone with no arms, legs, and has an eye patch? Names

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What is black and white, and red all over? A mutilated penguin.

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Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny?

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What did the unicorn eat for a snack? Nothing. Unicorns are a majestic fiction animal.

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he was about to be shot for attempting to assassinate the president.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because I took a swing at it with a golf club.

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Whos worse than Akise Teague. Mike Vick

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Did you hear the one about the pizza and the salamander? Neither did I.

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why did the boy drop his icecream?? he got hit by a bus

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Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke....? A pig rolling in mud!

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Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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I have read the terms and conditions

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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