A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we named a drink after you!". The grasshopper says "What, Dave?"

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Why is my phone bill so low this month? Because you have no friends.

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LeBron James: Kobe, i got a ring will you stop making fun of me? Kobe Bryant: Yes Kobe and Michael Jordan: LeBron asked if he gets a ring if we'll stop making fun of him LeBron James: Hey Kobe why didn't you answer when i called? Kobe Bryant: Sorry, I only heard it ring once

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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A ginger kid, a blonde kid and a brunette jump off a 50 foot building... All of them die apart from all of them because luckily there was a swimming pool at the bottom

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What's a good joke? France going to war and winning.

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Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

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What sport was the man with one leg excelling in? Ass kicking.

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Why does Billy hate waiting in line? Because he's impatient.

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Knock Knock!! Who's there? Dyphis, say goodbye to your kids.

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's dad owned a shot gun.

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A guy walks into a Bar ........ OUCH

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Want to hear a popular joke? Women's Rights

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't the farmer shot him before he could have a chance at freedom.

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I've lost my electron!! Are you sure? Yes! I'm Positive!

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

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Who has, there are like... Well actually I might have watched them all, downloaded them in a torrent... A LEGAL torrent of course... NOT. Well, you get a hint, it looks a lot like Mickey Mouse, and its a trick question since Mickey Mouse was not actually drawn by Disney, so yeah.

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Three guys walk in to a bar. One got a concussion.

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How do you kill a deer? You don't, you just let it be because that's what a decent human being would do.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reading the dumbass things that people come up with as an answer.

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what's black, white, and red all over? A nun in a blender

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops