Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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Knock knock. Who's there? Come in.

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Got in a Taxi and the driver said "You'll never guess who i had in the back of my cab the other day". I said "It's probably pointless me trying to guess then ".

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A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

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Q. why did the skeleton crosse the rood. A. he didin`t becas he had no guts

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Why did Little Billy trip? Because I shot his foot off.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Urban ghettos

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Two kids walk into a bar and get arrested for underage drinking.

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What does a black person call black friday? Friday

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Knock Knock. What's up? Oh, nothing much, you? Yeah, you know, same old, same old. Cool.

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what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

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Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

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Why is bobsledding the coolest sport? Because this is my subjective opinion.

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Why did the baby stop laughing? Would you if you pooped your pants?

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were at work systems r down

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Q. Whats blue and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket Q. whats green and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket in disguise.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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How I seem math word problems Scenario: 2 astronauts kayaking in the Sahara desert Question: How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse Answer: Purple, because ice cream has no bones

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How do you get the neighborhood hoodlums to stop pushing you over in your wheelchair? Brutally murder their families in front of them.

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Why couldn't Matilda walk to school? Because a dog ripped her legs off.

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whats white and smells like onions? an onion..

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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How did the Mexican get into the U.S.A.? He came in legally, and got his green card. He then continued his life as a business man and won the lottery four years later for 5 million dollars. He then bought a cool television, he also had children and put the money in their college funds later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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