if you don't like this you're gay

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What do you get when you mix a baby and chemical waste? A bad smoothie.

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why did the horse drop its ice cream Because it doesnt have thumbs so it cant hold the ice cream

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What's pink, bubbly, and goes round and round? A baby in a microwave.

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Oh please! Come on! Those that got to us where mostly Russians remember? And what where my parents? (if you do not know you might have guessed it by now) I found a guy that looked about the same as me, messed him up and put my jacket on him, I do not die that easily. Anyway, id explain more, but I have been without these fucking painkillers so long that I am talking trash on this stupid site again... Seriously the pain I am used to, but this addiction on painkillers is a bitch... (shedog if censor got a hold on it) But it turns out I cant sleep without them, sleep just does not come anymore, so Ill go get some now. Who are you by the way? I am Nero7, Aka Axel Knight.

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A horse walks into a bar Barman: Why the long face? Horse: just had a stroke

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What happened to tommy for his birthday ? A new pear of shoes to put on. Tommy feet just got amputated. But it's okay... Tommy got a new comb. Tommy just got cancer. But it's okay tommy got a new pet dog... Tommy is abused by the dog I know what your thinking a dog can't abuse someone it was a cat

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* How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man? * He just need to go to the Register Office and change his name to "a man"

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When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Well, life isn't a physical being so chances are low that it will actually hand you lemons.

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Someone told me once, but i had terrible memory so I had them tell me again.

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Q: What's worse than both of your parents dying in a terrible car accident? A: Sitting in the back seat with your grandparents.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. Banana soup, Gorilla poop

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a red boat and a blue boat collided all the survivors still have nightmares to this day

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One day a boy asks his teacher what blue velvet is then the teacher says "we don't ask questions like that in my class go to principal's office now"so the boy goes to the principal's office and then the boy asks "what is blue velvet"then the principal says"no one says that in my school get out" so the boy goes home and asks his mom what is blue velvet then his mom says you don't say stuff like that in my house get out!so the boy see's the Mayer. So the boy asks the Mayer what blue velvet is then the Mayer says no one says that in my town get out of my town! So the boy see's a man and the boy goes to the man and the man asks what happend to you and the boy says well I got kicked out of school kicked out of my house and got thrown out of town just because i asked what blue velvet is! So the man tells the boy that there is a lady across the street. So the boy is in the road and then the boy gets ran over and dies. So the lesson here is look both ways before crossing a street

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why did the black man apply for a job at kfc? His family was in debt after the loss of his father.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a school bus? A dog and a school bus are not sexually compatible and therefore they cannot reproduce.

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why was the toddler sad? he was diagnosed with cancer after his dog was put down because it raped and murdered his parents

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whats funny about this joke? nothing.

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What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? A: Get in the car.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a car? I don't have a car in my garage.

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I asked god for a bike but i know he doesn't work like that so i stole a bike and asked him for forgiveness

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a group of mormons walk into a bar... just kidding mormons aren't aloud to drink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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