How many seeds does a watermelon have? None. It is seedless.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Why is it funny when dogs talk ? Answer: they don't

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A horse walks into a barn.. The farmer says "why the long face?",This frightens the horse ultimately leads to the farmer getting kicked in the teeth

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Who cares its a chicken, it probably got hit by a car. Go to McDonalds and get a chicken sandwich there he is

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Why did Hitler kill himself He saw his gas bill

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What do you call 10,000 lawyers jumping off a cliff? Mass suicide

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What did the Black guy say to the Jew? Lets be equals

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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Whats worse than finding an worm in your apple? 1942 BERLIN

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how do you save a black person that's drowning? you blow up their lips

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What do you call white trash Garbage

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a man walked in to a bar and said 'outch'

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Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

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Have you seen that ad about starving children in Africa? It was pretty gay

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So a horse walks into a bar. The rancher immediately contacted medical help, and with a little teamwork, the horse was treated and revived.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is an animal without a high enough level of intelligence to see the dangers in doing so.

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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Why do dogs chase squirrels? Beacuse dogs have very low attention spands and also chase cars and cats.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness. Oh come on in, I would love to learn more about your religion.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Tim. Tim who? Tim Smith.

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your skull would make a nice pen holder

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree??? Because it was dead.....

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops