A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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Why did the blonde ask the doctor if she should get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anal surgery is the only solution.

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Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely for no discernible reason as chickens are animals with poor reasoning skills.

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There once was a man from Dundee, Whose Limericks ended on line three. I don't know why.

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what's worse, ten babies stapled to a tree or one baby stapled to ten trees?

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Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he was late for a meeting

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So a cat a dog are in a field.The dog then proceeds to eat the cat and take a nap

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Sam murray got home after school one day, he siad hello to his father and possibly played some Avatar on the D.S

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How do you punish Helen Keller You don't, she's dead

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What do you call someone who puts one number on here as a joke? Someone with no life.

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What's the same about a duck-billed platypus and a duck? They both have a duck bill on their face... Duh!

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A man wearing a 'What Would Jesus Do' bracelet and a livestrong bracelet goes up to a blind kid and rubs his eyes and the kid can see. The kid was was not used to the bright lights and wandered into traffic, was hit by a car and killed instantly.

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Q: Why was the chicken waterboarded? A: Because the guy liked being cruel to animals.

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do you have a wife?

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Why is Skrillex so bad a fishing? He has Parkinson's Disease

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What did the coney say to the hotdog? At least i kill people.

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Where did Adolf go as a vacation after the war? Hell

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What's the difference between a Jew and a cucumber? You can't gas a cucumber.

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How do you make a baby be quiet when it is crying? slowly choke it to death

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What do you can a boy with no arms and no legs? Names!

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What do you call a man with no legs? A leg-less man.

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Your mom is so fat shes having trouble getting into her own pants.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops