What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

Why couldn't Matilda walk to school? Because a dog ripped her legs off.

why did the pancake eat a spanish holiday? Because a plane crashed into his condominium

What happens, when you give a blonde a Computer? She uses it like any other person because her haircolor has nothing to do with her Intelligence

YOU-why did the airplane crash? (person): why? YOU-Because jimmy was flying it. (person): Who is jimmy? YOU- a fish.

What do you get when ned puts toast in the toaster? A fucking massive sperm whale.

Why did the business man jump into a mud puddle? He didn't. He was brutally stabbed to death then thrown in a pigpen in an attempt to conceal the evidence.

An Asian man walked to P.F. Changs, and asked where the bathroom is.

Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because Sally has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

Yo mamma is SO fat, she is classified as fat.

-Knock, knock! -Who is it? -Me

whats worse than the holocaust? i don't know, the holocaust was pretty bad.

Why did the Girl fall of the swing? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's There? Not That Girl

Jesus walks into a bar, the bartender shoot the zombie

Whats worse then getting AIDS Math class

Teacher: "Kenny, what is the biggest mammal on land?" Kenny: "A stranded whale."

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

What is funnier than 24? The fact that you think numbers are funny?

Whats invisable and smells like a apple? An invisable apple

Why did the chicken rape your...wait, that's not how it goes!

Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

Good afternoon.

How many dinosaurs does it take to fill a pool? I don't know and no one will know as they are extinct organisms

Why did the terminal cancer patient die? Because he fell of the stairs with his wheelchair.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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