Why did the man cross the road? Because he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken

where did susan go durring the explotion? every where...

Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He was in a terrible car crash in which the fuel tank exploded.

If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him? Because that would be assault, and not only assault but aggravated assault, since you are using a weapon to do it. Plus, the lawyer would have an advantage over you in court during the trial, due to having a law degree.

Whats white and can't climb trees? Yogurt.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red... That depends in how hard you throw them.

A man walks into a library looking for books on poor punchlines. The Librarian directs him to the appropriate section.

What is Osama Bin Laden's favourite colour? Doesn't matter. He's dead.

Knock Knock Who's there? Probably

What did the pear say to the orange? Orange ya gonna say hi? What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk.

red is red blue is blue derpy derp de derp

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him to leave.

What do you give hobos? Febreeze

WNBA

What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

America's Got Talent WIN! Britian's Got Talent WIN! Mexico's Got Talent WTF!

Why did Mufasa miss his doctor's appointment? Because he was trampled to death by wildebeest

Juan got hit by a truck Knock Knock Who's there? Juan's brother coming to stab you in the abdomen.

Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

How do you confuse a Blondel? Tell her there's a demon in her liver

This statement is false.

Two pen state administrators walk into a butt

What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? Neither one can ride a bicycle.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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