Whats the difference between platinum blondes? Absolutley nothing they all look exactly the same.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

My friend thought that an onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I threw a watermelon at his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why was six afraid of seven? He wasn't. that joke is just a way to convince you that seven is a scary number.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q:How many pieces of paper can one tree make? A:Trees cannot make paper, people make paper from trees. So the answer is none, a tree can't make any paper whatsoever.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

If you're American when you go into the bathroom and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? Magic.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did a black man enter a KFC? Because he had been in town a while and had grown hungry over the period of walking around, and decided he should get some food to satisfy his hunger so he may continue his journey around town. The fact he entered KFC is purely coincidental, as he could've easily decided to go to a different eatery, but it just so happens that the closest one was a KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the gorilla fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A blonde walks into a bar, and hit it head on, she is now in the hospital grasping for her life but the threatening grips of hell keep pulling her into the wretched plains of fiery wrath and despair... -Avery Vartanian

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Touche.try eating something, I eat low carb crap when I am too sleepy, and today I guess it works.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

When life gives you lemons.... Don't eat them, because you're probable hallucinating, and you don't know where they came from.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Yo momma so poor, she can't afford to live in a two story Cheerio box

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A cow walks down the stairs. Not really. They are incapable of walking down stairs. It actually died on the roof.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A russian, a mexican, and an american are all sitting in a tavern. The russian ordered vodka, the mexican orders tequila, and the american orders a beer. When the waiter arrives, the russian throws his vodka into the air, shoots it, and says "we got too many of those in our country". The mexican tosses up his tequila and says "we got too many of those in our country". The american throws up his beer, shoots the mexican, and says "we got too many of those in our country". And then drinks his beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Hey Jake can I use your lawnmower? Why Michael, so you can run over my cat like you did last night

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why do firemen wear red suspenders. I dont know because they go with there hat.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A white man walked into a bar, and an indian walked into a totem pole...

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I like my women like I like my coffee.......... I don't like coffee

thumb_up thumb_down -26

The chicken crossed the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

so the weather's nice...

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why was the black man carrying the television away from the store? He bought it

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops