Do you want to hear some bad news? My wife just died Do you want to hear some good news? I'm single

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Everything's brown Who shit on my flowers

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A blonde walks into a bar; she orders and enjoys her drink and then leaves with her thirst quenched.

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I knew a little girl once. She was ate before she was seven.

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What did the prison inmate get for Christmas? A warm chair to sit in

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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XD Jackass.

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What did the white man say to the black man? Nice Pants

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Why was the man worried? because he had a shotgun up his ass

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I was walking down a railway line the other day... I was fined £1000

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whats the best joke ever? womens rights

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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Doesn't matter, had sex. Except for the STD's I possibly contracted.

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What do tomatoes, apples, oranges, lemons, and peaches have in common? They are all fruits.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Women's Rights

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Doctor: I got bad news and worse news Patient: Whats the bad news? Doctor: You have 24 hours to live Patient: Whats the worse news? Doctor: Your mom died this morning

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Why did the vulture cross the road? To get to the pile of dead babies left over from the Holocaust.

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Your mam is so fat.

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A man goes into the doctors office for his yearly checkup. The man waits patiently for several minutes until the doctor is ready to see him. After about ten minutes pass, the doctor is ready to see him. The man enters the doctors office. He passes all of the necessary tests. The doctor and him talk for a while. After a few minutes, the doctor says, "Okay, thanks for coming. See you next year." The man thanks the doctor and leaves.

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When you try to go to anti-joke.com but get redirected to Horsehead Network...

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What's funny about a car accident involving three children, a widow, and a dog? Nothing.

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A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops