A bear walks into a bar. Animal control was contacted and the bar was evacuated.

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nickel back

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3 guys walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black —Stevie Wonder

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What is your bill about? Clinton

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How do you get a clown off a swing set? You throw an axe at his head when he's not looking.

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Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Ele PHa n T

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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What did the speech impaired man say ? Nothing.

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Q: How did the blonde girl get into Harvard? A: hard work, dedication, and a perfect SAT score.

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What do gamer see in his nightmare? a peasant build 4 houses and gets stuck between them.

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When you try to go to anti-joke.com but get redirected to Horsehead Network...

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OMG FUCKING NERDS WITH NO LIFE CAN READ ABOUT THE POWER OF YOUR Vaginal puss puss color, no but seriously, I kinda prefer unshaven, I mean if I change my opinion I just do it myself or command that you shave yourself while I put it on my cellphone while I jack off to you, making a creampie, yeah because.

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what did the left foot say to the right foot? Nothing, feet don't talk

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Ever hear the joke about the blind guy taking care of the baby ? ... Good, because it's not funny to make fun of blind people and I doubt a blind guy would ever be legally taking care of a baby.

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What's worse than being fat? Being gay

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What did the alchoholic get for his birthday? Nothing. His alchohol abuse split up is family and now he is alone.

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What's worse then getting socks on Christmas? Being murdered by a bear.

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Why did the leaf fall off the tree? Because it was Fall.

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Why are black people scared of chainsaws? Because the chainsaws go run nigga nigga run.

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Why is the average lifespan of Black men in the U.S. only about 52? Hundreds of years of oppression and a lack of nutritional, liberal, and vocational education have put them in a position where gathering the resources necessary to live a healthy and safe life are greatly is incredibly difficult.

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A man reaches to grab a womans chest and then realizing hes gay, backs off and everyone goes home happy

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Q: What did they call the dude who was stuck on a deserted island? A: Incontinent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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