Why didn't the chicken cross the road? ... Well, do you know or not?

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A man finds a lamp in the desert. He picks it up and dusts it off. The lamp becomes cleaner.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and dedication

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How do you kill a politician? You set him on fire and stab him in the back 20 times.

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How do u keep annoying children off your front lawn? Molest Them.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

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A mans wife gets pregnant after he has a visectomy... She was artificially inseminated using sperm he froze before the operation

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What did the guy day to the other guy with an afro on his head? You look like a guy with an afro on his head.

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An Englishman walks into a bar.

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What is your favorite color???? My mom I got u s o godd.

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What do a dog and a fork have in common? They both have tails. Except for the fork.

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Why did the little girl die so suddenly? The bullet got her right in the heart.

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I'm a poet and I just didn't realise

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Gotta disappoint you there, you see there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of similar organizations which work for the government, and those I work for are black ops, meaning that I would be putting my life in danger if I told you anything about it besides that fact. Its not listed anywhere, its not FBI, its not legislated by any government yet many governments invest their funds there, you could call it something like the interpool, and something like the underground society, except its multi-government driven... A term I sincerely do not fully understand myself, I have certain talents I put to use, but I lack the education in order to be more than a employee for these people.

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How many dead hookers can you fit in a trunk? Five

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Why did Sally fall off the swingset? She had no arms. Knock ,Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name's Dave, Microwave!

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There were two friends, a girl and a boy. The girl had a ribbon tied to her neck, and every day the boy asked her why, yet she'd never tell him. They grew up together, and fell in love and still, she wouldn't tell him why she had the ribbon on her neck. They got married, and grew old, and still she wouldn't tell him. But one day, she said to him 'I'll show you why I keep this on my neck' and she took it off and her head fell off.

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A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

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Mike: Hey Dave knock knock Dave: Come in!

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monkeys that understand what people say dont understand what people say because they understand CC

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Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

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Q: What did the pony say when it had a sore throat? A: "I have throat cancer and only have six weeks to live."

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how do you complete an exam. dont be kaizen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops