I haven't had sex for about 2 years, 10 months, 20 days and 4 minutes. It doesn't bother me though.

What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

How do you leave a guy in suspense ...

Why did the Olympic gold-medalist lose his faith in God? Because he began to feel that the the reasoning that most religions were based on was fairly spurious.

A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

Why was the prostitute unsuccessful? because she had no vagina

Why can't Hellen Keller play the piano? She's dead.

Oh please! Come on! Those that got to us where mostly Russians remember? And what where my parents? (if you do not know you might have guessed it by now) I found a guy that looked about the same as me, messed him up and put my jacket on him, I do not die that easily. Anyway, id explain more, but I have been without these fucking painkillers so long that I am talking trash on this stupid site again... Seriously the pain I am used to, but this addiction on painkillers is a bitch... (shedog if censor got a hold on it) But it turns out I cant sleep without them, sleep just does not come anymore, so Ill go get some now. Who are you by the way? I am Nero7, Aka Axel Knight.

What's green and eats rocks? A green rock eater What's purple and eats rocks? It hasn't been discovered by science yet...

Why does Michael J. Fox always have his martinis shaken? He thinks they taste better that way.

why did the chicken cross the road it didnt

YOU-why did the airplane crash? (person): why? YOU-Because jimmy was flying it. (person): Who is jimmy? YOU- a fish.

why did the horse drop its ice cream Because it doesnt have thumbs so it cant hold the ice cream

Why was little Tommy scared? Because he'd just been abducted by a psychopathic rapist.

on a scale from 0 to 100, how childish are you? 69

What would the funeral home do without a dead person? Wait until the next appiontment

Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of its legs is both the same

Q: Why did Jimmy not have balls? A: A terrible, terrible sand paper accident.

V I T A M I N C !

What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.

What do you call a white person? Caucasian

How do you know when a bag of chips is stale? It is past the expiration date.

A homeless guy gets done with his daily work. where does he go? nowhere he is homeless...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...