I really want to wear my Christmas leggings Actually I lied about the leggings, they're tights I love anal

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Why did the jew kill himself? Because he had no foreskin.

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How do you fit an elephant into a car? You can't. Unless it's a baby elephant. You would probably also need a convertible with the top down.

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A wise man once said a journey of a thousand steps starts with one step. The wise man also smoked weed and starved to death in a cave.

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Sally went to an R-Kelly concert what happend when she came out? No one because R-Kelly peed on sally and cops came in.

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What's black and doesn't work? My Blackberry, but luckily it was still under guarantee and the situation was solved swiftly and relatively drama free.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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Why was the black man tangled in chains at the bottom of the ocean? Because he was a highly skilled diver and environmentalist who tragically entangled himself and consequently died slowly and painfully of suffocation while trying to save a whale from eating waste metal.

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whats brown and sticky? whatever is coming from your pants

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Why did thomas make a big mess on the ground? Beacuse he fell of a cliff

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Is your daddy a thief? Because he stole my wallet.

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a man walks into a bar, it hurt.

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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Of course, the capacity to create a better society, is well within the natural limits of humankind, we do not need Gods in order to be strong, honorable kind, respectful, and so on, we do not need empty promises. We only need, to use our potential as humans, believe in it, and do our best only, if we desire the best results, take care of those that suffer, and believe that they will be there for us when we need them. We can all do it, humanity, yet choosing a lifestyle where we become peasants or soldiers, all promised happiness AFTER we have lived our lives, is what the people have decided. This is the extent of the average man and woman, even if it is far beyond the power of humanity.

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

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Did I invite you to my birthday party? No. Then why are you at my birthday party?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is an animal without a high enough level of intelligence to see the dangers in doing so.

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What's big and white and can't climb trees? A mattress

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Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? He is short and finds it difficult getting from place to place.

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profits evenly.

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Knock knock! who's there? Doctor Doctor who? No, this is your actual doctor, you have cancer.

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why are black people good at sports? because i f***ed your mom

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was locked safely in the chicken coop.

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why did arno fly away? he was a bird

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops