Crime doesn't pay. Sure it does

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What do you get when you cross a leopard and Chuck Norris? I don't know. Probably something like a furry yellow Chuck Norris with black spots and sharp teeth.

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What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide, and drives women crazy. A 6 inch long 2 inch diameter syringe filled with heroin being injected into a woman.

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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Why did the black man run out of the shop with items under his jacket? He was shopping for groceries, when his brother texted him, letting him know that his wife had just gone into labour. He then realised that it was a very miserable rainy day outside and he didn't have an umbarella, so he payed for his items, and ran to his car.

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So there's this moose right? And he walks into the store and asks where the potatoes are. And the cashier lady says aisle 5. So the moose walks to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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What would happen if RAINN Wilson, the actor, married Michael MANN, the director? They'd probably be arrested; 2 men can't get married in California anymore (thanks a lot, Utah)!

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-How do fit an elefant in a refrigerator? Open the door and shove it in -How do u fit a giraffe in a refrigerator? Take the elephant out and put the giraffe in -If the king of the jungle has a meating which animal doesn't come? The giraffe because hes in the refrigerator -How do u cross a lake where aligators and snakes live? U swimm because they're at the meeting

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What did the raped girl say to the doctor? Nothing she was dead on arrival.

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whats worse than nailing 8 babies to 8 trees? nailing 1 baby to 8 trees.

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What's big, moves around everywhere, and has four wheels? four TEENS on four wheelers

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Paki? Nothing, they're both as bad as each other.

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two peanuts were walking down the street. but one was unsalted...

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Is your Alzheimers getting better? I have alzeimers?...

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Knock Knock!! . . (There is no response as nobody's home)

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Whats worse than your house on fire? an orphanage catching on fire. Whats wosre than an orphanage catching on fire? A bunny farm catching on fire.

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What kind of people have fat lips? People who have gotten punched in the lip or have suffered a serious lip injury that has caused their lips to swell up.

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What happens to a banana after it gets sunburnt? It peels.

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What's the square root of yo mama? That which when multiplied by itself equals yo mama.

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why did the little boy fall down?? Because a terrorist shot him

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(Timmy has no arms or legs.) A:Knockknock! B:Who's there? ANot Timmy

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have Alzheimer's Hey i just met you

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what did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, They just waved.

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What happened to the alcoholic? He got liver cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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