Your mom is so fat shes having trouble getting into her own pants.

Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

what's worse than being chased by a turtle? being chased by an angry turtle

European on my shoes, buddy.

Q:the is a mexican and a black guy in the car who id driving? A:the cop

Rubies are red Some diamonds are blue I have candy so get in my car

What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff.

What's worse then 2 dead monkeys? 3 dead monkeys!

Psychics.

A man walks down the street past a flamboyant homosexual male and kills him in a hate crime. This homosexual was Dylan Glogowski

Knock knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave Smith.

What's the worse thing O.J. Simpson has gotten away with? Running a red light

Why is the world going to end on 9 December 2014? I don't know why, but IT IS

What's big, hard, in the water, and isolated? Shutter Island

What's sad about 3 black people going over a cliff in a Cadillac? Cadillac's seat 6

what did the lamp say to the woman Nothing, a lamp is a plastic glass and metal inaminate object therfore it can not speak

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He didn't he was chicken

Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police, mam. We need to speak to you about your son Robert. It's the police, mam. We need to speak to you about your son Robert who? Mam, he was in an accident. Could you open the door please?

here's my two cents worth! *hands you two pennies , entire life savings*

Why did little Susie fall off the cliff? I pushed her.

Rim Ram Ree, Kick him in the knee, Rim Ram Rass, Kick him in the other knee

what is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? dead babies dont stick to the roof of your mouth when you are eating them.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I've just bought a chainsaw, and I will now decapitate you.

Whats green and fuzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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