Why should you never trust anglers? Because they're always into fishy business... Why should you never trust hunters? Because they carry loaded guns...

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What do you call a black male teacher? A: A Teacher .

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*knock knock* "Who's there?" "It's the police, I'm afraid your husband was in a car crash and died."

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Some anti-jokes are funny, some are not!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

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Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana you glad I didn't say banana?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

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Pete and Repete are sitting on a fence. Pete falls off. Pete suffers from a scraped knee and a bruised tailbone.

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Have you seen the clown hiding from gay people at walmart?

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Did you hear about the man who discovered the secret to making women happy? Neither have I.

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What did the Fish say to the other Fish? Nothing, fish cant talk.

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What's worse than stabbing your eye with a fork? Stabbing both your eyes with a fork.

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Where did Susie go during the explosion? On her knees to catch it.

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Why did the little boy ride his bike to school? It was a birthday present.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

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Roeses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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What is the best way to run a race? Start out fast, run fast in the middle, and finish fast.

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Why did the Black man cross the road? To get to Pop-Eye's since KFC is too expensive nowadays. HELL-YA

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Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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